Today's weight--155.4
Eric and Charlotte just left for Lawrence and we had a sweet morning chasing around the cats and dogs. Eric is coming back to be with me on the 8th, so I won't be alone. He's worried about me. My well-being overall. I feel light headed and heavy at the same time today.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Forward--
When I was 17, I met a man outside of a bar called The Spot. I was wearing a bright colored smock type vintage babydoll dress that was wild blue and very psychedelic. It was also a maternity dress and was shaped more like a tent then a dress (well probably really, it was meant to be a shirt. And when my thin arms wouldn't fit through them, I took them off and made it sleeveless). Underneath it I had white polyester shorts that peaked out from under the hem of the dress. I wore some sort of black shiny shoe. I had black horn rimmed glasses and bright red hair that matched my lipstick. It was 1991.
I was at The Spot because it was all ages night and there were bands playing and it was across the street from my Alateen meeting that my mother forced me to go to (though years later she will admit to never being an alcoholic and just really needing friends, but till that time she dragged me around with her to meetings and picnics) every Tuesday night and the only joy of sitting through those meetings was knowing that afterwards I could go to the bar and hear music.
My friend, Tom, had a little crush on me at that time, and I was sort of interested in him too. But, he had just started dating a woman ten years older than he and I and decided that was the way to go (and he was right, they are still together today), so he introduced me to Kent, the drunk drummer of his band. Who was also had just finished school at WSU and had a degree in creative writing and wrote poetry. We wore the same type of glasses, and had dark brown hair and big brown eyes. He was a little shorter than me, but at that time I didn't care so much about those things. He was wearing cut-offs and a green, yellow and red tie-dyed shirt with the outline of Africa on it and penny loafers that had a hole in the left toe.
We were immediately attracted to each other and he would change my life for the worse in a matter of months, but what did I know. I was 17 and sweeter than and native.
When I was 17, I met a man outside of a bar called The Spot. I was wearing a bright colored smock type vintage babydoll dress that was wild blue and very psychedelic. It was also a maternity dress and was shaped more like a tent then a dress (well probably really, it was meant to be a shirt. And when my thin arms wouldn't fit through them, I took them off and made it sleeveless). Underneath it I had white polyester shorts that peaked out from under the hem of the dress. I wore some sort of black shiny shoe. I had black horn rimmed glasses and bright red hair that matched my lipstick. It was 1991.
I was at The Spot because it was all ages night and there were bands playing and it was across the street from my Alateen meeting that my mother forced me to go to (though years later she will admit to never being an alcoholic and just really needing friends, but till that time she dragged me around with her to meetings and picnics) every Tuesday night and the only joy of sitting through those meetings was knowing that afterwards I could go to the bar and hear music.
My friend, Tom, had a little crush on me at that time, and I was sort of interested in him too. But, he had just started dating a woman ten years older than he and I and decided that was the way to go (and he was right, they are still together today), so he introduced me to Kent, the drunk drummer of his band. Who was also had just finished school at WSU and had a degree in creative writing and wrote poetry. We wore the same type of glasses, and had dark brown hair and big brown eyes. He was a little shorter than me, but at that time I didn't care so much about those things. He was wearing cut-offs and a green, yellow and red tie-dyed shirt with the outline of Africa on it and penny loafers that had a hole in the left toe.
We were immediately attracted to each other and he would change my life for the worse in a matter of months, but what did I know. I was 17 and sweeter than and native.
Monday, June 24, 2013
154.6
If I were one to worry, that sudden lost of weight would worry me, but since I am in complete denial about everything right now I am overjoyed that I am losing weight.
How dare you tell me you're confused. You know two things you do not love me. You do not want this. I see no confusion in that. It seems easy enough to throw some money at me and walk away.
I know this feeling so well, this being totally alone, I am so used to it that it feels like skin.
If I were one to worry, that sudden lost of weight would worry me, but since I am in complete denial about everything right now I am overjoyed that I am losing weight.
How dare you tell me you're confused. You know two things you do not love me. You do not want this. I see no confusion in that. It seems easy enough to throw some money at me and walk away.
I know this feeling so well, this being totally alone, I am so used to it that it feels like skin.
Friday, June 21, 2013
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Today's weight--156.8
I think I will never drink beer again. I always gain like 5 pounds after I have a few.
666 pageviews for this blog as of today before this posting.
Again today, I can't remember what I dreamed last night. I know I did in fact dream, I have some little flashes of dreams, but nothing concrete enough to write about.
The workman who is fixing the mold that has grown from the rain pouring through the roof, doesn't seem to understand that molds is bad. Or he may be lazy, watching him work is proving to me that he is probably both lazy and uneducated about some things. But, he does have a huge white cargo trunk that I am slightly jealous on because it looks like it would make a good home.
Tomorrow, is my job interview, which is where I have been putting all my energy.
And, I gave away the old church piano yesterday.One less thing to move.
I think I will never drink beer again. I always gain like 5 pounds after I have a few.
666 pageviews for this blog as of today before this posting.
Again today, I can't remember what I dreamed last night. I know I did in fact dream, I have some little flashes of dreams, but nothing concrete enough to write about.
The workman who is fixing the mold that has grown from the rain pouring through the roof, doesn't seem to understand that molds is bad. Or he may be lazy, watching him work is proving to me that he is probably both lazy and uneducated about some things. But, he does have a huge white cargo trunk that I am slightly jealous on because it looks like it would make a good home.
Tomorrow, is my job interview, which is where I have been putting all my energy.
And, I gave away the old church piano yesterday.One less thing to move.
Monday, June 17, 2013
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Today's weight--157.4
I drank too much last night with Kate, so I don't really remember what I dreamed. I never felt drunk though, just nice and light.
Two people came by to see the house today and hopefully one of them will take this house. If not, plan b, though I am not exactly sure what plan b is today.
I guess this is what an empty nest looks like. The quiet is what makes it so lonely.
I drank too much last night with Kate, so I don't really remember what I dreamed. I never felt drunk though, just nice and light.
Two people came by to see the house today and hopefully one of them will take this house. If not, plan b, though I am not exactly sure what plan b is today.
I guess this is what an empty nest looks like. The quiet is what makes it so lonely.
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