My sister is going to kill me, but that's OK since she is leaving tomorrow anyway, and I'm not going to see her tonight. I was blow drying my hair and realized how much I hate my bangs and decided to go ahead and trim them myself. The sideways thing was not working for me, so back to the straight across. Mara is going to double check them and make sure they're even, but I'm already a ton happier with them. I guess it's true we always go back to what we know. I know straight across the bangs. I just think it balances my face better, but so much for growing them out.

The last few days have been pretty enjoyable. I am on an awful sleep schedule but I guess after next weekend I will get it all straight again.

And, at the moment everything looks like it will work out to go to Iowa next week. After a couple of long conversations I think we have most of the details worked out. I'm really excited about the whole affair. I don't really connect with people on this level very often. It's funny how comfortable, and at the same time nervous, I feel when we're having one of our long phone conversations. Our conversations have been a tendency to go for hours. I find myself just going on and on sometimes about nothing at all mainly because I don't want the conversation to end even when I'm so tried and I know he is too. There is something comforting there that I wish I could put into words better. For a poet it seems I am often lately finding myself at a lost for words.


I do worry I will say something or put my foot in my mouth, but I am beginning to understand that sometimes I am going to put my foot in mouth. I'm human. I make mistakes. Why is it that I can accept that others make mistakes and forgive and overlook these things but I hold myself to these silly standards? I should probably think about that more in detail later.


My mother is not at all happy about me going, but if I did everything she wanted me to do I would be sharing a house with her still. Sometimes, I think, she tries to make up for not being around enough when I was a child by being a tad bit overbearing now. I know she means well, so I try to take it all in stride, but sometimes I just want to tell her to back off. I don't though as I am scared to hurt her feelings.

I was going to go and see Split Lip tonight with my friend Mike, but he called too late and I made other plans with Mara and Kyla to go down to some galleries as it is Final Friday. They are taking forever though so we may just end up hanging out here.

Tomorrow is Sid's birthday party. He got glasses today and seems OK with them. I think he looks pretty cute in them. He looks more like his dad than me with them on.