I keep wondering how long exactly I will be struggling with the cravings. I'm really over it. I guess my mind still thinks that if I am writing and reading and having a glass of wine then I should be smoking too. I will be glad when I am totally over it once and for all. The cravings are coming later and later in the day so that is nice. I am hoping that by the time I go out of town I will be over that one last huddle. At that point it will be 30 days totally smoke free. I think my timing worked out better this time, but my method was a tad bit harsher. Maybe that is what I needed though. I don't know really, but I am sort of tried of analyzing it.
The other things in my life are going pretty well really. I am enjoying teaching thus far. I think I have two good groups of students and will have a fairly productive semester.
I am a bit worried about my own writing. I should be much further into my thesis than I am. I have written 9 lines in the last three days and they are disjointed and don't seem to be going any where. I really need them to go somewhere. I am writing though, I am writing lots of letters and blogs and random things, but my poetry is not going anywhere. I have my off times, and I know that this is just one of them, so hopefully it won't last that long.
I am reading a lot more all of the sudden and that tends to help a lot. I am really enjoying this book of letters that Nin and Miller exchanged. They write with such care and love. It is really uplifting in some ways.
I am shorter than I was at 19. I think the nurse I saw today measured me wrong cause I don't think I have lost an inch and half of height already. It was odd. I have always wanted to be just a bit shorter and when she said I was I wanted that inch back. Maybe I heard her wrong? I don't know. It was just goofy and now I am putting more thought into taking yoga again as it is suppose to help you from shirking.
