Last night, I had yet another fight with my ex-husband on the raising on our son. I was once again told that everything wrong is my fault. OK, so yes, I was not totally aware of how far behind Sid was in some of his school work, but that's all. I knew when everything important was due and was a bit shocked that none of his teachers had informed me that his school work was that far behind. Now, Pat is falling all over himself with the "I told you so." What it comes down to is that if Sid doesn't shape up just a little bit when I move Pat is going to fight me on it. I've explained this to Sid and I am hoping that will be enough for him to shape up. I think he understands what we both expect from him.
Since last night I have had this nagging feeling that this is what Eric was talking about when he was telling me about how my life is too hard for most to handle. And, he's right in some ways. This part of my life really is challenging at times. It's true and there's no way around that. In some ways I think it's better cause I'm not one to be caught up in too much other drama and I pick my battles well. I have learned the difference between what is important to fight for and what is not. Really we don't fight that often, but when we do it's usually over some issue that needs to be resolved. So, really it's not that bad it just probably seems that way to some people. I know I could make it easier if I would just give in and let Pat have full 50/50 custody on the every other week schedule, but 1) that's not what Sid wants and 2) it's not what Pat wants either it's what his wife wants. When I explained that to him last night he hang up on me. It sort of made me laugh.
If I ever wanted to smoke it was last night when I was driving 30 miles in the snow storm to pick up Sid's meds from his dads. On top of the agrument I had with Pat, somehow we misplaced a bottle of Sid's medication. Because I didn't drive for four years I am out of practice of driving in harsh weather conditions, so it made me a bit anxiuos to drive that far but I got through it smoke free and am feeling much better today. Except I did skip the gym as the roads are still a bit rough so I thought maybe it would be better to wait a bit to go in to the office. I had a secret wish that campus would be closed today but my wish wasn't granted and it's probably better as I have three meetings today and it's probably better to just get things out of the way as soon as possible.
Today is a new day.
8 days...
