I just sort of want to scream. I'm at a totally lost as to what to do at this point. He says he loves me but doesn't know if he ever wants to see me again? I'm over being jerked around. I have my faults. I do. But, I'm worth a little more than that much indecision.

What hurts the most I guess is that it's not just me who doesn't understand. So many of my friends don't understand either. They all thought we were happy together. The Sid issue baffles them. Especially Joe and Casey. Who you would think would be the two guys who would understand how he's feeling the most. Joe teased me and told me he would marry me if nothing else came through. He's going through some stuff too so it's been nice to hang out a little bit with him.

Work sucks. I have one student who is stressing me out. Thankfully, it's almost over.

I can't seem to write anything new worth wild. It's just as depressing as being in a one sided relationship.

I thought I had gotten over this when I am and I broke up, but I guess I didn't.

I love him and want this to work out but I can't do in alone.