My dreams were so odd last night. I wish I could remember them better now. They seemed so real and not dreamlike at all. Once when I was dreaming I had to remind myself that I was dreaming and not living life. At one part I was lying on a blanket in a town square in the sun. I wasn't alone but I'm not sure excatly who I was with now, and the sun felt so warm on my face.

Eric is upset that I'm not coming up. He even tried to give me some money to come up, but I'm just not in the mood today. I wish I was but I'm just not. He's a good friend though and understands. He talk me down off the cliff just now. Reminded me that I'm not making a big deal out of all this and even if I am that's OK too. He agreed with me about my thoughts on the Sid issue and that maybe he is making a bigger deal about it then it really is.

Today, I am going to try and do jsut a couple of things that make used to make me happy, but I have to figure out what those are. I really just want to be outside but it's just a tad too cold and windy to really sit outside today.