We are quite yet restless this evening. Perhaps it is because I am sick. Bad cough. stuffy nose, upset stomach, slight head ache. I thought I would be well enough to go to work today but I was drained in a way I haven't been for a while. I just went back to bed and whined and was demanding most of the day. I insisted that Eric and Sid took care of me. Sid more so as Eric was away at school.

Sid is having another run in with a girl. He had a couple of dates with this girl over the holiday weekend and thought she was his new girl friend, but today, she told him that she didn't want to be in a relationship. When did it become this complicated at 13? He did sit down and talk to Eric and I about it and it was a sweet moment. Eric explain some things to him perhaps better than I could and I followed with my own words of advice about letting go on some one when they put up red flags. It is all so much easier that way, in the end, to let go before anyone gets in too deep; although, at 13 how deep can you really get? I ask this half tongue in cheek. No one should slight any one's feelings, the problem, as Eric vocalized to me a while ago--is that teenagers are not quite sure of how they feel. They can do everything that an adult can do within limits, but yet the emotional core is still as of yet totally ready to deal with all it intercedes on a daily basis. It is a hard lesson to understand and yet there is innocence there that is pure and so beautiful. It is why even teenagers are a joy to have around, and in some ways, more so than younger children. He is a joy to have around more days than not.

I need to start focusing on myself a bit more on on Eric and Sid less though. I have to finish my thesis and start studying for comps. I should ask some of my friends to write me out practice questions.

Tonight, Eric referred to his own apartment as is weekend cottage because he never hardly stays there anymore. When he says these sort of things it makes me feel bad like I'm forcing him to stay here with me every night. I will admit that I gave him a key though, after a week, I slid a gold key into his hand because it felt like the right thing to do at the time. They third key was not for him but for my sister but I gave it to him instead. I also bought him a tooth brush, but neither of these things really felt like a big deal, but necessary. He needs to brush his teeth and he needs to lock the door behind him if he's still in bed after I leave. I guess I just didn't see these as such big deals at the time. Maybe I was wrong; maybe they were. I informed him that really in the end it was our relationship and only the two of us have to live up to it. That my friends, too, had been a little shocked by the hastiness of our sudden coming together. I should maybe insist on my own space a bit more though for the good of my own sanity. But, I feel fine overall with where things are between us.

Now he's flying paper airplanes around the house and my head hurts. Hopefully tomorrow I will feel better.