I miss that game freeze frame that we played at the roller rink when i was a kid on four wheels on each foot and the DJ would call out freeze and everybody would stop an hold their position for a moment or two. When I was really young I thought the whole world must have stopped too, and I could walk around and catch my breath before I missed too much more.

The week went so fast. What was I doing this time last week? Was I waiting and feeling nervous. Probably... I had on my new skirt and white summer blouse and tried to decide if it was too much or not and then it was hot when I got home so I just changed into shorts and I wasn't nervous after 4? That's odd. Hmm...

Forcing myself to stay on this schedule of studying and writing is like being constrained in some ways. And, the more I study for my GRE the more my score goes down. Testing like this does not really show my true intelligence and I know that, but why does it make me feel so unintelligent when I watch my scores drop. Why am I jumping through this hoop for grad school? To get a job? When what I want is to not be tied down to anything at all. To let my wandering self out to travel. Maybe somewhere down the line I was related to Irish Travelers?

I have to maintain focus. I would take more B vitamins but they give me anxiety.

I'm still not sleeping.

I still haven't found a pen that does what I want it to do.

Okay, I'm complaining out loud because I am restless, bored, and lonely today.

Although, this is not really out loud this is on a blog that no one reads so it doesn't really count.