I was stood up tonight by the man (when did I start referring to males as men and not as boys?) I went out with a few times last week. We had a rough time of it Friday night when he came by to 'help' me clean when I told him he could stop by for moral support if he wanted. I think he didn't understand me and he was rushing me as I tried to straighten up things. I know I should have been grateful for the help, but I wasn't. I guess I like to clean alone and don't want to be hovered over or expected to give someone orders. He was cold when he left. In my own defense, I was major PMSing, and am quitting smoking not drinking and dieting. I told him that and he wasn't so sympathetic. I need someone who is sweet when I'm in a bad mood as long as I'm not being too over the top. Which I don't think I was being. I was fine with him not calling tonight. I was really glad he didn't. I was going to have to tell him I'm not interested but I guess he already knows. I'm also glad I didn't sleep with him that we didn't even really kiss. It's a relief in some ways to walk away this time empty handed.
Still no word from Jason. I miss him. I miss his emails. They made me feel not so alone in the world. I've been trying to not make excuses for him one way or the other, to just let it be and see what happens. Melissa and Robin both think he's blowing me off. That if he wanted to contact me he would have by now. Melissa said once a man called her from Greece while on vacation. Ian said that men make time when they are really into someone. Katy seems to think it's not so black and white. That he developed deep feelings about me or something and has freaked out now. I have just been telling myself he was busy catching up with school and visiting with family and now he's in Ecuador and too busy having adventures with his ex the lesbian. Maybe he and Alley got back together...
It's just odd. The last I heard fro him he said he was in a hotel and he wanted to call me but it was too late and he thought I was asleep.
I wish he had called.
I wish I didn't feel like crying right now.
