Today's weight--155.9

Last night's dreams were strange, in color and left me feeling rather odd. I was at a garage sale looking through some things when I found out the woman whose sale it was husband had recently died. Her sister started following me around and kept talking to me. Then she told me she thought I could be a model and wanted to take a picture of me on her cell phone, but first I had to change into something else, so she wrapped my hair up in a scarf and told me to look down when she took the picture, and then I realized somehow, that what she was really doing was sending a picture of me to a man in the Middle East so I could be his wife, so I left and went to a party where I was in all black and combat boots and she followed me there too, and showed me a picture of what could have been my future husband, but it was you, Dear Reader, and I laughed and laughed and laughed and suddenly felt wildly drunk and started dancing with a very tall dark man who was wearing all green. Bright shinny green.

Last night after Emily and April left my 'sissy, Taylor, called and she was drunk as she often is when she calls. We only speak a few times a year and often talk for hours and hours and try and catch up, but she never remembers what she tells me or what I tell her, but I am always so glad to hear from her. She totally understands why it is so hard for me to date in Wichita anymore but was a bit shocked that I hadn't been on a date in many months, since she has always been impressed with my ability to date in Wichita. I know that part of it those is that I have thought it would be embarrassing to bring a man into my house with all these kids lounging around all the time, and that I have been hung up on moving and escape and it's unfair to start something I could not or would not finish, and I have just not been going out as often to places where there are single men really.